1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
