It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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