Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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