Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
