I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
