so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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