New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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