you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
