Me too!
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize