I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
My dick has a subreddit
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
