btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
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