You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he wants to bone in the snuggie
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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