I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
