cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
