ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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