True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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