if only i could text you this smell
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
