we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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