just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
NoShamevember. You game?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
