There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize