If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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