i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
