Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize