im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
