I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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