planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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