those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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