She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
