I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
