Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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