I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
