first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love