I wish they made helmets for livers.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
