I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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