Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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