I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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