how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
