the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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