apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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