i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize