haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Your tits are I can't wait for
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
