remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
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wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
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I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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