Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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