you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
