There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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