I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
