Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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