I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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