Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.

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(208): View more from Idaho

She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"

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(303): View more from Colorado

Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?

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(815): View more from Illinois

Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts

(815): View more from Illinois

Maybe I will go to the company picnic

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