what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
