he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
