I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
