We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
