My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Michael Bay diarrhea
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
