I seem to have left my pride at pride
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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