hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Please, let me fuck your mom
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
