alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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