just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
