yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
